I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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