My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
