I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
