You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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