i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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