he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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