what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize