He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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