Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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