I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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