yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
