Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
