I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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