Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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