I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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