no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
