Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Randomize
