when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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