Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize