can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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