she woke up with a sticky ear
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
