the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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