He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
