giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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