What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
