5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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