Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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