I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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