Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
