I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
