Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
