he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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