dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
