sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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