Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
