Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
