The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
