dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
