It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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