i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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