people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
