Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
