There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
