I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
