another moral hangover. fuck.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
