he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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