I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
