So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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