theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
