I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize