Got a toothbrush?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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