i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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