Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
