Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
