I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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