If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sorry about my life...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
