then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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