nut hugger
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
