If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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