You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
