Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
