dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How does one acquire holy water?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
