wat bout pragnant strippers??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
