Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sorry about my life...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
