Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
