Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
