Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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