I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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