Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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